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March on, My Soul; Be Strong!

Kathleen Nelson

Judges 5:21b “March on, my soul; be strong!”

As I accumulate years of being a mother, I ponder certain things.  I reflect.  I look back on it all.  I think about the future.  I do a lot of thinking about all of this.  I remember the days when everything was a blur, and I had no time to ponder anything.  I was buried in the little ones.  Any thoughts of the “future” only included what I was going to make for the next meal, and what time the little ones would get up from a nap. Every day was steeped in cloudiness.

Days and nights blended.  Weekdays ran into weekends with no distinction.  Going to church was the only thing that somehow marked time, and often I would miss church because one of the children would be sick.   Those precious, irreplaceable years quickly slipped away.  (Tears flow down my cheeks as I sit here and write and think back.)  I so often felt at the end of my rope.  I so often wondered who I was anymore.  If you would have given me a cup of coffee and somehow gotten my complete attention, I couldn’t have described myself for the life of me.  I would have had no words…I felt so lost in it all.  It literally took all of me, every ounce of my being, to tenderly raise and give my little ones what they needed to become the people God was making them into.

As I sit here typing, I am well aware that my oldest, priceless son will soon be out on his own.  Steve and I often quietly talk about it.  Oh, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would without a single hesitation. I would.

This verse in Judges, “March on, my soul; be strong!” has become my daily heart chant.  I often speak this verse to myself several times a day.  You see, my baby just turned two a few weeks ago.  He is a precious son that I very much love and enjoy.  But the reality is that I have many more years of mothering ahead of me, about as many as I have behind me.  I am committed to giving everything to my young dear son that I gave to his older brother – a mother that is attentive, tender, and strong as she draws her strength from her relationship with her Lord Jesus. March on, my soul; be strong!