I found myself questioning and doubting this last night.

There are several things right now in my/our life that seem “off”.  I wonder what God is doing and although I trust him, I have my moments of doubt.  Of sadness.  Of feeling hopeless.  That said, I spent time with Jason last night crying and praying for God to move in our lives and asking Him to help me trust His timing.

His answer came today.

He didn’t answer me in the form of granting my requests.  Instead, He showed me how perfect his timing really is.  And that is He good.  And that He is in control.

We went to story time today and had made plans with several other moms and their kids to go to the park right after and have a picnic lunch.  I was standing around talking to a few moms and noticed out of the corner of my eye a little boy maybe 2 years old in a bright yellow shirt wondering far off by the water slides.  The playground was pretty far away and I found myself thinking “I would not be ok if that was my 2 year old… that is pretty far away.”  I watched again as he kept moving further and further away from the play ground and how there was no mom near him.  I said something to Rach like “Should we be concerned at this?” And pointed to him.  We both looked around again and saw no mom.

I then walked to a group of about 4 moms and said “Do you have a kid in a yellow shirt?” They said no.  I went to the next group of people and asked the same thing.  Same answer.  By the time I turned around, that little guy was racing toward the lake.  And I mean he was trucking.  My kids were playing in the sand box (which I had walked away from to ask people if they knew whose little boy it was).  I had a thought like “Hey! Someone watch my kids!” But it never came out of my mouth. As fast as I could I kicked off my flip flops and went racing towards him.  I remember thinking while running: “There is still no one else coming after him… where is his mom?” (And yes, the play ground was very big and very busy… it would not have been hard to lose track of a little one.)  Down toward the lake he went and over a little hill and I couldn’t see him anymore.  I kept running harder and faster thinking for sure that he would have stopped by the side of the water, right?

Then I realized I saw his head bob up and down.

And then again another time.

All I could think was “O God, he is in the water!”  I came up and over the little hill to find him face down in the water about 4 ft from the edge.  He was no longer bobbing up and down. He was just face down in the water with his hands and feet thrashing all over the place.  I felt like I was in a movie.  A bad one.  I knew that I was going to get to him in time, but the split seconds that it took me to get to the edge of the water and deciding how to get him out seemed like an eternity.  I quickly jumped in and landed on a bunch of slimy, wet and jagged rocks.  I had to go out a few feet to get him.  I reached for his leg and pulled him back and up out of the water so he could breathe.  Thankfully a 2 other moms (and his caretaker) were now running down the hill after me.  One mom had brought her phone to call 911 and she knew CPR.  I couldn’t get out of the water though.. the rocks were all  angled and slippery.  I had to wait until the other mom got there and hand him off to her.  Then I climbed out of the water.

I was completely soaked  all the way up to my waist.  Even if the little man had figured out which way was up….. he never would have been able to reach the bottom.  They quickly took off his wet clothes and wrapped a jacket around him.  His caretaker said “I had no idea where he was… I couldn’t find him. Thank you.”  He was crying for his mom and was wet and cold.  But he was very alive and I am very thankful.

In the past 2 hours God has just continued to say to my heart, “My timing is perfect”.  “My timing is perfect”.  I know it is.  I know He is good and He is in control.  I keep thinking about the fact that my life is not my own and it is part of a bigger picture than I can see this side of eternity.    As was this little boy’s life.

I didn’t even get his name.  I wanted to give him a hug.  I feel like I’m going to walk around for the rest of my life and wonder if I will ever see him again.

Little dude, I am so glad you are ok.  I am praying for you, that one day you might know the God of the universe as your Lord and Savior and know that he has plans for your life.

As for me, I hugged my kids a little longer before I put them down for naps.  Belle and Johnny, I love you.